Thursday, March 3, 2011

Punch (2002)

This was my review from yesterday's horrible movie blogring.

I would like to begin this review by quoting the summary for this movie from Netflix:
“This gritty story is a real jab to the solar plexus!”
 I really couldn’t agree more, Netflix. I do feel like I just got punched. Although, I do take exception with you using the word “gritty” when I could think of much better words for that sentence. For example: creepy; misleading; plotless; and saggy.

This story is about a college-aged girl with some really, really creepy issues. She’s the kind of girl that grows up to be a drug-addicted stripper and then ends up giving drug-addicted strippers a bad name. The movie starts off with her giving her father a massage in a public swimming pool that comes off as very inappropriate. Little did I know the what-the-f***ness of the whole movie would go off the charts later on when she got her dad to give her a breast exam.

I make a habit of watching pretty messed up movies but this one was just full of eww. If reading that last paragraph felt gross and dirty to you then just imagine actually watching it! I apologize to Ginny for any disturbing search results this post results in, sorry! Anyway, eventually the dad brings home a date and the girl ends up punching her in the face. Yada, yada, yada (and yes, I can just yada past these parts because they aren’t really worth repeating)  and suddenly topless boxing is a part of the storyline.

Now before you guys start getting all excited I should mention that this isn’t exactly foxey boxing. One of the not-so-foxey-boxers is OK enough looking but she looked a lot better with her top on. The other one looks more like a truck driver than a woman you’d pay a cover charge to see naked. The creepy girl eventually ends up fighting one of the topless boxers in a street fight and get’s her ass kicked and that’s pretty much it.

Needless to say this movie brought out a lot of emotions for me such as disdain, and apathy (does apathy count as an emotion?). None of the characters are likable, there was no point to the whole sordid affair, and I don’t think anyone really learned anything. I’m not even sure this should really count as a sports movie. Oh well. Anyhow, if you like movies with creepy girls that make creepy passes at their fathers then this movie is for you! By that, I mean that you should really seek help right now, sicko. Don’t bother with this one, it’s an hour and a half you’ll never get back. Strangely though, I think morbid curiosity may still make you add this one to your queue.

To add this movie to your Netflix queue click here.

According to this movie will be available to stream until 10/10/11.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I needed a bad sports movie to review for the blogring.

Is it artsy? No.

What stood out the most to you? How crazy that girl is.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Looking to be creeped out.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

1 comment:

  1. Good to know. I will never, ever watch it.

    But the review was very entertaining!


SPOILER ALERT: Talking about the movie is encouraged in the comment section. Read at your own risk.

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