For Your Consideration (2006)

Featuring: Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest, Ricky Gervais, Jane Lynch, Michael McKean. Director: Christopher Guest.

Warning: This movie is only supposed to be available for streaming until Jan. 1st. Act fast!

I'm not one to throw out the term "mildly amusing" lightly, but mildly amusing is exactly what you get with this movie. I kept expecting it to become really funny but all I ever got were a few average laughs. It was disappointing because there was a plenty talented cast, I just think the writing was a little off. It had the right story for a good satire. A bunch of washed up actors make a bad movie but somehow get some Oscar buzz and Hollywood idiocy ensues.

Despite a premise with promise, this Christopher Guest movie just didn't do it for me like some of his earlier movies. Instead of being a hilarious send up of the movie industry the way he mocked community theater and dog shows, you get what just sort of feels like an industry movie that would probably only be interesting or funny to people in the industry. It didn't have the appeal of a Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show. Sure, those were movies about certain industries too, but the characters were relateable even if you don't know a damn thing about dog shows. Unless you're a die hard Christopher Guest fan, I recommend skipping this one and just checking out Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show instead.

Click here to add this to your Netflix queue.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 1/1/12. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I've had some laughs out of prior Christopher Guest movies so I thought I'd give this one a try too.

Is it artsy? No, it's a showbiz movie. Showbiz ain't no kinda art baby.

What stood out the most to you? It felt like it was going to become hysterical soon, but it never did.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Really into the inner workings of Hollywood I suppose, or at least satires of it.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.  

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Floored (2009)

Director: James Allen Smith

Floored is the story of the traders working in Chicago's futures markets. It seemed like it would be interesting because I've always wondered how it worked on the floor as well as what all those guys with yellow jackets walking around downtown did. It also seems like it would be an industry filled with larger than life characters... and it is. Unfortunately, the characters they all seemed to be playing were larger than life scumbags.

There wasn't really a likable one in the bunch. Aside from one woman, they're all a bunch of white, male, self-entitled assholes who do nothing but complain about computers and how good the "good 'ol days" were. There is nothing wrong with this documentary per se, it's more that there is something wrong with the people this documentary is focused on. I guess to some it would be interesting enough, but listening to people who have made and lost millions of dollars doesn't really do anything for me. Especially when they didn't really add anything positive to the world in the process, they were just gamblers. If you have an interest in this sort of thing I guess it's worth checking out, but be prepared to be annoyed.

Click here to add this to your Netflix queue.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 4/8/13. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I figured there would be some pretty interesting characters in the floor trading game. Mostly they were just whiners though..

Is it artsy? No.

What stood out the most to you? Every one of them smokes cigars.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? In a mood to learn about liquidity.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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The Story of 1 (2005)

Featuring: Terry Jones.

As some of you may know, I at times find some of the most boring sounding things incredibly interesting. Take for example, Between the Folds which is a documentary about origami that I really enjoyed. Sounds exciting right? I'm sure you can imagine how excited I am for Watching Paint Dry: The Series to start streaming on Netflix. From the moment I read the description of The Story of 1, I figured I'd be in for a nice boring good time. The Story of 1 is a documentary about the history of the number 1 and features Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. Naturally I thought this show would be right up my alley.

Unfortunately, I didn't really enjoy it much. It was somewhat informative, but I think they tried a little too hard to make it funny and they just missed the mark. The crappy CG didn't help either. I would have rather watched a very dry history of the number 1 that was more informative than something like this that comes off as "cutesy". It's not awful, and if you're really curious about the number 1 then by all means, check it out. If, like me, you're just looking for something boring to watch and maybe teach you a little then there is better PBS programming out there than this for you to watch.

Click here to add this to your Netflix queue.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 1/1/13. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I like watching things that sound boring.

Is it artsy? No.

What stood out the most to you? The weird CG 1's running around everywhere.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? In a high school class room when your teacher has a hangover and is too out of it to teach.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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Clockers (1995)

Featuring: Mekhi Phifer, Harvey Keitel, John Turturro, Delroy Lindo, Michael Imperioli. Director: Spike Lee.

Warning: This movie will only stream until May 11th so act fast!

Spike Lee has always been a controversial director. I'm cool with that, I like to the stir the pot and I admire a guy that is determined to do things his own way. I don't even mind that 95% of his films are made with the purpose of making a political or societal statement. What bothers me about Spike Lee is that he doesn't really have a sense of humor. Even films on the most serious of topics are enriched with a little humor. Spike usually comes up with great ideas for films, the dialogue is just often lacking. Because of this, if the actors in his films don't give transcendent performances their characters come off as a little boring.

I think of how awesome this film could have been if Scorsese had directed it instead of just producing. He spends the time to make sure every word and shot is necessary and interesting. That's why he's Martin Scorsese and we're not. This movie is centered around a drug dealer who makes some really questionable decisions and is played by Mekhi Phifer who gives an admirable performance. He's the kind of guy that has a lot of potential but a very questionable moral compass.

For most of the film he and a homicide detective played by Harvey Keitel go back in forth over a case Phifer's character is very involved in. Keitel's partner is played by another Netflix Stream favorite, John Turturro. The best performance in the movie, however, comes from Phifer's boss played by Delroy Lindo. He was really the most interesting part of the movie and that is my biggest problem with this film.

The other actors are all professionals and turn in decent performances but their dialogue just isn't interesting enough and it slows down the movie. I really wanted to like this movie, but I didn't. I wish Spike would slow down a little more sometimes and spend more time fleshing out the characters in his movies. He's got the ideas, he just needed to focus more on the execution here.

To add this movie to your Netflix queue click here.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 5/11/11. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I'll watch anything with Harvey Keitel or John Turturro in it.

Is it artsy? Sort of, it is definitely trying to imprint a message. I'm just entirely sure what message that is.

What stood out the most to you? Delroy Lindo was awesome. Almost worth watching just to see him kicking ass and taking names.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? You ran out of crime movies to watch.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars. 

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Eyes of the Mothman (2011)

Director: Matthew J. Pellowski.

From time to time it's fun to watch movies and shows about conspiracy theories, strange phenomenons, and other worldly creatures. They titillate the imagination and sometimes even make you question what is real and what isn't. It's entertaining, and at the very least you get a good laugh listening to crazy people give interviews about aliens, moth men and the like.

Eyes of the Mothman is one such documentary. It centers around the small town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia and describes a number of strange events that allegedly occurred in the town including, but not limited to: sightings of a giant mothman, UFO's, telepathy, and men in black harassing the locals. Basically, they could have based a whole season of the X-Files on the events that transpired in Point Pleasant.

If you're into the supernatural, aliens and conspiracy theories you'll probably enjoy this documentary. It wasn't the best made film in the world but the stories are interesting enough. It went on for way too long and felt disjointed, but I still watched the whole thing. Not a bad guilty pleasure flick.

To add this movie to your Netflix queue click here.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 2/15/13. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? Sounded weird and quirky.

Is it artsy? Nope, but you may make tin foil hats after wearing it.

What stood out the most to you? That guy who was always looking up, even when he was looking forward. You'll know what I'm talking about if you see it.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Paranoid.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars. 

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Shelf Life (2006)

Featuring: Betsy Brandt, Elisa Bocanegra. Director: Tamar Halpern.

Warning: This movie will only stream until May 9th so act fast!

Shelf Life is a mildly amusing indie comedy about the conflict between an anal-retentive head librarian and a young woman fresh out of rehab and starting a new job at the library. The premise is interesting enough and both actresses do an admirable enough job in their roles to make this a watchable movie, but not one I can really recommend.

The problem is the characters are just too one dimensional. You know what you're getting from each character and there is really no element of surprise. As a result, while the movie has some cute parts, but overall it just sort of falls flat. I'm not really trying to bash it because it isn't awful. After all, it did hold my interest throughout. There are just better movies you could watch instead. Oh, and if you do watch it and you're trying to figure out where you know the rehab girl from, she is the sister from Breaking Bad.

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 5/9/11. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? Cool cover, decent premise.

Is it artsy? Nope.

What stood out the most to you? The actresses did a lovely job without much of a script to work with.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Looking for a formulaic comedy.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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The Vampire's Ghost (1945)

Featuring: John Abbott, Charles Gordon, Peggy Stewart. Director: Lesley Selander

The Vampire's Ghost is a b-horror movie from the 1940's. It's a simple vampire flick set in Africa. One of the colonists happens to be a vampire. The natives of course know he's a vampire because natives are in touch with ancient evils and what not. A lot of it is pretty racist which I kind of expected. The natives were all painted up, dressed in loin cloths and talked exactly like Tarzan. Although you can tell from their tone of voice that they were really just some dudes from Brooklyn trying to make a buck.

There is nothing really that special about this movie but it wasn't overly corny or anything either (except for the natives). The acting was decent, the story was OK, and they didn't try to do too much with special effects. It was entertaining enough but definitely not anything you need to watch.

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 7/15/13. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I thought the chic on the cover was hot.

Is it artsy? No.

What stood out the most to you? The silly way the natives talked.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Looking for an average b-horror movie from the 40's.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars. 


Sorry, couldn't find a trailer for this one.

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Superman/Shazam!: The Return of Black Adam (2010)

Featuring: George Newbern, Jerry O'Connell, Thomas Jane, Malcom McDowell. Director: Joaquim Dos Santos.

If you've been following this blog for any length of time then you know that I have a soft spot for animated comic book movies. They make me feel like a little boy again with their action-packed goodness and that makes me happy.

First off I have to say this movie isn't as Netflix advertises. Yes, the main story is a team-up of Superman and Shazam! but it isn't a full feature length movie, it's only 24 minutes. This is actually a collection of four shorts, the Superman/Shazam! story as well as animated shorts from lesser known DC Comics characters  Spectre, Green Arrow and Jonah Hex.

As with all of the other recent DC Comics animated features, the animation and voice acting are all top notch. I did think the Superman/Shazam! feature was a bit cheesy and childish. I really wouldn't be annoyed with that if this was made for kids. The problem is that the rest of the collection is really violent and the subject matter is definitely not OK for little kids. If this was a more consistent collection one way or another it would make a lot more sense but the way it is put together makes it seem like they threw together what they had lying around and packed it onto a disc.

I did enjoy the other three shorts much more than first. You could tell that the creators were willing to take more chances on them. Spectre had a very cool 70's vibe to it, the Green Arrow was an awesome little action short, and Jonah Hex was a cool little stylized western story. That being said, none of them were must-see's, but if you're really into this sort of stuff you'll want to check them out. If you're not a hardcore animated comic book movie fan then you should probably start with some of the other choices I've reviewed previously (click here to see them). 

To add this movie to your Netflix queue click here.

This movie will stream on Netflix until 2/7/12.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I love these kind of movies.

Is it artsy? No, it's for little kids and kids at heart, well, the first anyway.

What stood out the most to you? Everything except the first short.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Looking to make sure you watch all comic book movies on Netflix.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars. 


Sorry, couldn't find a trailer!

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Punch (2002)

This was my review from yesterday's horrible movie blogring.

I would like to begin this review by quoting the summary for this movie from Netflix:

“This gritty story is a real jab to the solar plexus!”

 I really couldn’t agree more, Netflix. I do feel like I just got punched. Although, I do take exception with you using the word “gritty” when I could think of much better words for that sentence. For example: creepy; misleading; plotless; and saggy.

This story is about a college-aged girl with some really, really creepy issues. She’s the kind of girl that grows up to be a drug-addicted stripper and then ends up giving drug-addicted strippers a bad name. The movie starts off with her giving her father a massage in a public swimming pool that comes off as very inappropriate. Little did I know the what-the-f***ness of the whole movie would go off the charts later on when she got her dad to give her a breast exam.

I make a habit of watching pretty messed up movies but this one was just full of eww. If reading that last paragraph felt gross and dirty to you then just imagine actually watching it! I apologize to Ginny for any disturbing search results this post results in, sorry! Anyway, eventually the dad brings home a date and the girl ends up punching her in the face. Yada, yada, yada (and yes, I can just yada past these parts because they aren’t really worth repeating)  and suddenly topless boxing is a part of the storyline.

Now before you guys start getting all excited I should mention that this isn’t exactly foxey boxing. One of the not-so-foxey-boxers is OK enough looking but she looked a lot better with her top on. The other one looks more like a truck driver than a woman you’d pay a cover charge to see naked. The creepy girl eventually ends up fighting one of the topless boxers in a street fight and get’s her ass kicked and that’s pretty much it.

Needless to say this movie brought out a lot of emotions for me such as disdain, and apathy (does apathy count as an emotion?). None of the characters are likable, there was no point to the whole sordid affair, and I don’t think anyone really learned anything. I’m not even sure this should really count as a sports movie. Oh well. Anyhow, if you like movies with creepy girls that make creepy passes at their fathers then this movie is for you! By that, I mean that you should really seek help right now, sicko. Don’t bother with this one, it’s an hour and a half you’ll never get back. Strangely though, I think morbid curiosity may still make you add this one to your queue.

To add this movie to your Netflix queue click here.

According to instantwatcher.com this movie will be available to stream until 10/10/11.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I needed a bad sports movie to review for the blogring.

Is it artsy? No.

What stood out the most to you? How crazy that girl is.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Looking to be creeped out.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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Bugsy (1991)

You never really hear Bugsy mentioned in the same breath will all the brilliant, epic mob movies we've seen over the last forty years. There's a reason for that, it sucks. I really could not stand this movie. I think Warren Beatty is one of the most overrated actors of all time. Just because you look like a leading man, it doesn't mean you are one. He tried to give a complex performance but I just couldn't believe him.

I'm really stunned that this movie got so many Oscar nominations. Nothing looked authentic at all. You could tell that every single shot took place on a Hollywood set. Even the actors didn't look right. It was weird seeing Ben Kingsly have hair and Harvey Keitel without it. It's a petty example I know, but the wigs they used were so awful looking that it illustrates the problem with the whole movie: it all looked incredibly fake.

The real shame here is that director Barry Levinson made an incredible supporting cast look like amateurs. With Annette Bening, Harvey Keitel, Ben Kingsley, and Joe Mantegna this movie really could have been a classic. Instead, you're left scratching your head and wondering what the hell happened?

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue.

This movie will stop streaming on 3/1/11.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? It's a mob movie and on paper had an incredible cast.

Is it artsy? Nope, it's crappy.

Best thing about the movie? The end credits.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? A mood where you don't really feel like paying attention to what's on the screen.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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Examined Life (2008)

I enjoy philosophy. Debating different ideas is just one of those things that gets me excited and snaps me out of the doldrums of daily life. When I saw a documentary that included a play on words of Socrates'  famous quote "The unexamined life is not worth living." my curiosity was definitely piqued.

Unfortunately, I ended up a bit disappointed. The film gives a number of contemporary philosophers ten minutes each to share the ideas with the camera. While this is an interesting idea to get a sample of contemporary philosophy if you've ever talked to a philosopher you'll know that they can go on for hours about a single topic. There were some interesting ideas discussed in this movie but as soon as I started thinking about them it was time to hear from another philosopher talk about a completely different subject. I would have much rather listened to two philosophers for 45 minutes than the bite sized bits I got here.

I can't really recommend this documentary to anyone. If you're interested in philosophy, chances are you've already heard a lot of these ideas. If you're new to philosophy, everything is too out of context to get a good grasp on what philosophy is. While I encourage the discussion of philosophy I think this is probably the wrong format to do so with.

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I enjoy philosophy.

Is it artsy? It's intellectual.

Best thing about the movie? Peter Singer gave a very interesting talk, I think he was the second or third speaker, it's worth just checking that part out.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? In desperate need for a philosophical fix.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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Bullitt (1968)

I've never seen any Steve McQueen movies before so I thought I'd give this one a try. He's supposed to be another one of those classic bad-ass American leads whose movies I've been reviewing lately. I have to say this was the most boring movie I've watched in a while. There were a couple interesting parts but they'd be over with after a few seconds and then this movie would go back to a lot of blah blah blah. There was cool car chase scene towards the end but that was really the only thing worth watching in this movie.

Like Dirty Harry, this is another cop that plays by his own rules kind of story it just isn't nearly as exciting. I'm sure there are better Steve McQueen movies out there that I'd enjoy but this isn't one of them. If you're looking for an old school cop movie you'll be better off with the likes of Dirty Harry.


Click here to add this movie to your queue.

This movie will stop streaming on 1/1/2011.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? Steve McQueen is supposed to be cool, unfortunately this movie is not.

Is it artsy? No.

Best thing about the movie? The car chase, gotta love real American muscle.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Either a car chase enthusiast or someone looking to be bored.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars.

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ThanksKilling (2009)

This isn't a Happy Thanksgiving post. We don't take breaks on holidays here at Netflix Stream. We (OK me) wake up early and instead of watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade or peeling potatoes we watch movies. I couldn't think of a better movie to watch on this wonderful holiday than... ThanksKilling !!! (click here to add to your queue).

Yes, you read that right. This is a movie about a killer turkey. And yes, it is gloriously awful. I don't really need to write anymore of a review. It's a movie about a killer turkey. If you're the kind of person that appeals to, watch it. If not, go grab seconds and eat some turkey instead of worrying about some turkey eating you.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? It's a movie about a killer turkey, why wouldn't it be?

Is it artsy? God no.

Best thing about the movie? Gobble, Gobble Mother Fucker!

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Absurd.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 Stars. 

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Challenge of the Shaolin Disciples (1987)

Challenge of the Shaolin Disciples (click here to add to your queue) is your standard, run of the mill, bad editing and worse voice-overs kind of kung-fu. I enjoy it, but it's not for everyone. The editing in this one was particularly bad but it had some comedic relief, good characters and decent fight scenes. If you're into kung-fu movies or are a film professor looking for a film to showcase how to NOT edit a movie have a look. If not, let Bruce Lee introduce you to kung-fu. He's amazing and on Netflix.

  
The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? Because I like kung-fu movies.

Is it artsy? Quite the opposite.

Best thing about the movie? The characters were fairly well developed for one of these kinds of movies.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? A good mood with a sense of humor about poor editing.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 stars.

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What Just Happened? (2008)

De Niro just doesn't seem to have it like he used to. He's been in a series of underwhelming movies lately but I just can't stop watching anything that has De Niro in it! The movie (click here to add to your queue)  has an interesting enough premise. De Niro is a Hollywood producer who has to deal with moody stars, directors with too much 'artistic vision', and pressure from studios. The supporting cast of Sean Penn, Bruce Willis, and John Turturro is about as good as you can get. Yet somehow the movie just falls short. Most showbiz movies end up just being depressing and this one is no exception.

The most interesting part of the movie is Bruce Willis (playing himself) flipping the fuck out because they want him to shave his Grizzly Adams beard. That part of the movie was awesome, the rest of it was just kinda meh. Not an awful movie, but just not that interesting. Very disappointing considering the talent involved.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? De Niro, Penn, Turturro and Willis.

Is it artsy? Nope, I think it would like to be though.

Best thing about the movie? Bruce Willis flipping out was awesome.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Really bored.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 stars.

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The Raven (1963)

Featuring: Vincent Price, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, Jack Nicholson. Director: Roger Corman.

Today in the second part of my Vincent Price review marathon we have The Raven starring the trio of Price, Karloff and Lorre once again and surprisingly featuring a very young Jack Nicholson. When I watched the movie I didn't even realize it was Nicholson, that's how young he was. I thought the movie had all the markings of a good Vincent Price movie, but I was wrong. It was loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven and when I say loosely, I mean really loosely. The only connection there really was is that there was a Raven in the movie. I can't really recommend this movie to anyone unless you're really a Vincent Price aficionado or want to see what Jack Nicholson looked like when he was 15. There is a wealth of Vincent Price movies on Netflix, start elsewhere.

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? Because Vincent Price is awesome.

Is it artsy? Nope.

Best thing about the movie? The extremely cheesy sorcerers battle at the end of the movie.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? In a mood to watch a really silly b-movie.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 stars. 

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The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919)

Director: Robert Wiene.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is one of the first horror movies ever filmed. It centers around an evil hypnotist and a somnambulist. Yea, I had to look it up too. I've never seen that word used so much, ever. The story is decent but its just hard to get scared when there is no sound.

What really shined through in this film was the set design. It looked like something out of a Tim Burton movie. There were absolutely no right angles in this movie, everything was just beautifully off-kilter. The sets are probably why I kept watching to be honest. That and figuring out what the hell a somnambulist is.

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue. 

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? It has an awesome cover.

Is it artsy? No, but it is a silent movie.

Best thing about the movie? The sets are beautiful.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? In the mood to see pretty sets or a horror buff.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 stars.  

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Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead (2005)

Featuring: Robert Englund. Director: Tobe Hooper.

I love zombies. Zombies make me melt like brain cells in an episode of Nip/Tuck. They are my guilty pleasure. How else could you explain something with a name like Dance of the Dead ending up in my queue? The premise is awful, the story is horrid, the acting is so-so yet I didn't turn it off. Why didn't I just give up and go to sleep? Well, because a zombie had an orgasm in this movie. That kept me wondering what else might happen. Not much else interesting happened but I made it through. Besides zombie orgasms the other redeeming factor of this film was Freddy Kruger (Robert Englund) playing a character that was semi-interesting for most of the movie and really good towards the end. Oh, that and Billy Corgan doing the soundtrack. This is B-movie horror at it's fair to middling best. If you're a zombie aficionado and enjoy the occasional awful movie you'll have a decent time watching this, if not, stay away.

Click here to add this movie to your Netflix queue. 

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I love zombies.

Is it artsy? This movie is the complete opposite of whatever artsy is.

Best thing about the movie? Freddy Kruger being creepy.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Drunk and only sort of paying attention to what you're watching.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 2 stars.  

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