Thursday, November 17, 2011

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Featuring: Phil Caracas. Director: Lee Demarbre.

Warning: This movie is only supposed to be available for streaming until Dec. 1st. Act fast!

Imagine a bunch of your stoner friends from high school coming up with an idea for a movie called Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Now picture those stoners finding a bunch of shitty movie-making equipment and then somehow showing enough initiative to not only make their crazy movie... but put their hearts and souls into it. If you can imagine that movie... then you have an idea of what kind of movie Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is.

Obviously, they're not going to make an incredible movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat. However, the chances are good there would be some really dumb shit that would make you laugh even though you know you shouldn't. This movie can't match the insane genius of a movie like Black Dynamite, but it does feel like it was done by a pot-smoking savant. 

My advice when it comes to this movie? Imbibe with friends, laugh at stupid lines like "the power of Christ impales you", enjoy the surprisingly creative but awful fight scenes, and have a ridiculously good time watching a ridiculously bad movie MST3K style.

Click here to add this to your Netflix queue.

According to Netflix this movie will stop streaming on 12/1/11. Of course, sometimes they lie.

The Standard 5:

Why is it in your queue? I think the title alone is enough to warrant having this in my queue.

Is it artsy? Think of the artsyist thing you can think of, multiply it by ten, and think of it's opposite. That is how unartsy this movie is..

What stood out the most to you? To be honest, this movie is so batshit crazy that I can't really even pick out a single moment.

What mood should I be in to watch this movie? Stoned, with friends.

What rating did you give it on Netflix? 4 Stars.

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SPOILER ALERT: Talking about the movie is encouraged in the comment section. Read at your own risk.

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